The Exquisite Friday Afternoon Corpse

by a Group of Writing Enthusiasts with Sweet Tooths (Sweet Teeth?)

The bloodied corpse fell off the balcony. The half-dragon assassin, with silver scales reflecting the moonlight, watched as his target—a demon in the guise of a nobleman—slammed into the firm earth and expired.

“I have hunted you long, old friend,” quoth the assassin. “My body has withered with the passage of the years, but my mind—and within it, the desire to kill—has only been honed.”

The willows watched with hushed whisper as Pascal padded patiently up to the demon’s corpse.

“So, it’s come to this,” he spat, giving Pascal the nastiest look he’d gotten in a while—since he broke up with Pamela, actually—“an old-fashioned, Cordon Bleu style soufflé-off!”

“These assertions are inherently problematic,” he said.

Suddenly a cork fell from the sky and landed on a tiny crab perched on the body. The crab let out a scream that pierced the night air.

Distracted, the assassin did not notice the crab’s accomplice, who spun the cork around to reveal the writing carved into it. The inscription, written in blood, said “Beware the eye.”

Cows are cool!

At which point, milk began spewing from the eyes of the corpse. “Not again,” quoth the corpse as it rose from its supposed eternal slumber.

Along came a dying kitten, starved and virtually dead. But how could that happen if another had arranged it all? Only if mother was actually a kitten-killer!

That is an interesting twist in the story.

A helpful resource from the University of Chicago

A helpful resource from the University of Chicago

“This kind of argument is less like disagreeable wrangling, more like an amiable and lively conversation with someone whom you respect and who respects you; someone who is interested in what you have to say, but will not agree with your claims just because you state them; someone who wants to hear your reasons for believing your claims and also wants to hear answers to their questions.”

Want Cake?

Then come to our Writing Center Open House, this Friday from 3 to 5! We’ll have cake and juice, as well as games and activities, all writing-themed. There will even be a free raffle. Most of all, we just wanted to have a time when you can come see what and where the writing center is, meet and mingle with our staff, get signed up for our appointment system, and have a nice afternoon. We hope to see you there! All in the Whitman community are welcome. 

Ira Glass to young artists

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.” – Ira Glass

Welcome to the new-and-improved Writing Center!

It’s an exciting time for the Writing Center here at Whitman! We’ve got a new director, Professor Lydia McDermott, and a (mostly) new staff of inspired and experienced tutors! We’re revolutionizing our online presence:

-Make tutoring appointments at whitman.mywconline.com

-Visit our informative Whitman page at whitman.edu/writingcenter

-Visit our brand new Facebook page and give us a “like” at facebook.com/whitmanwritingcenter

-And of course, stay tuned for more blog posts!

We’re here to guide you through the college writing process. Need some advice on how to start formulating your ideas? Wondering how to structure your argument? Just feeling totally stuck? Make an appointment today!